Tragedy

In the aftermath of the Connecticut shootings, like any of the mass shootings that seem to be so common in our society, with the grief comes blame.

The children have gone to a better place, they are held in the arms of love. The teachers and staff, some of them, died knowing that they were protecting the children. Think about it; what a gift, to know that your last act was of love.

As always, it is we, the living, who are left with grief, questions, blame, confusion, anger. With the confusing, unglamorous, tedious minutiae of figuring out how to live our truths, spread love in the world, do no harm.

It is tempting to blame the accessibility of guns in our society. It is tempting to blame the lack of mental health services. It is tempting to try to find the answer in the banning of guns and the further "protection" of children behind locked fences and doors in their schools. It is tempting to look for answers anywhere other than the deep questions of heart and spirit that our country needs to ask. We won't find the answers unless we ask the questions. It's tempting to continue the blame game and divisions so evident in our politics. Evident in the definition of politics, which used to mean social relations and now is defined as governance and power.

We need to redefine our politics as the practice of social relations. Each one of us lives in a world where this tragedy happens, often. Each one of us has to find a way to live with that fact. We need to stretch our hearts to encompass forgiveness of the shooters, and the society that allowed this to happen, through neglect, or ignorance, through callousness, selfishness, or whatever lack or fault we name--to forgive ourselves, for our compliance or failure to make a difference. It's up to us to forgive, and live, and love the children while we have them.

And yet... I invite you to look at a discussion on Amazon, about Angel trees, and how poor kids ask for expensive stuff. Part of the people posting take the position that kids should not ask for iPods and xboxes because they are expensive gifts, and part of the people posting think it's ok for kids to dream. So what is love? The Bible says if your kid asks for fish, you're not gonna give him a stone. It covers food, not iPods. But it does talk about God delighting to give good things, and clothing lilies in glory, and caring about birds that fall from their nests.

We need to find the place in our hearts where religion means love and not control. We have to do the hard stuff, the work of the living: loving, grieving, forgiving, changing.

We'll get there, eventually. The Dominion of Love, aka Kingdom of Heaven, will manifest on earth. Here, tangibly. It could be all around us, in us, if we had eyes to see. If we had hearts to sing, and arms to embrace, and legs to walk the talk, and the will to dream it true.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is more than acceptance of the past. It's releasing the unhappiness 
and pain of the past. When we haven't forgiven, we keep visiting the pain of the 
past and giving it a home in our hearts right now. And making that pain new is 
something we are doing to ourselves.

Forgiveness seems to be that actual step of choosing joy instead of pain and 
maybe even being actually glad things happened the way they did. I have not been 
able to get that far very often, because I am a sad, cranky person in my middle 
self. My lower self is a happy dancing kid, my higher self is twirling in 
ecstasy in the deep heavens; my middle self has been trying to figure out how 
much to blame who, what for. I am finding that it's generally safer to blame 
hormones, and the way to keep the hormones balanced and happy is to choose to be 
happy.

In a paradoxical way, to accept the past is reliving it, while forgiving 
releases the past. I know it's all been said before; I haven't ever understood 
this much of it before. I wanted to really understand forgiveness. I watched 
part of an online Oprah about forgiveness and there was a beautiful shining 
woman who said she had forgiven her molester, yes, she would (basically) invite 
him to her home and wash his feet like Jesus did. I was jealous of her freedom 
and her smile, and I immediately turned off the program. But I have been asking 
soul questions about forgiveness ever since.

I think I've been confusing forgiveness with an emotion instead of an act of the 
heart. "Forgive thy brother seventy times seven; turn the other cheek." This is 
alien advice to the fragile self. And yet. The work of the Spirit is to create 
balance and joy; for every act of evil, thoughtlessness or meanness, God's will 
and promise is to bring forth love and joy. Whether I am the victim of meanness 
or its perpetrator, it is my job then and there to replace it with mercy and 
love. A new world, a world of loving kindness for all, is created person by 
person, heart by heart. It begins with each one of us, to do unto others not as 
we have been done to, but to love as we wish we were loved. There are really no 
excuses. In a heart filled with love there is no room for hate. As wonderful as 
it is to feel justified,  if I still hurt, it's really by my own choice. As Yoda 
said, "There is no try, do or don't do."

I still wish my heart would be immediately replaced by God's heart. I want to be 
the flower, not just the seed and stem and bud growing. But that is my reality 
now. As one flower-in-training to another, I salute you, I wish you sun and rain 
and joy.

What Matters?

Altar in the World, An: A Geography of Faith by Barbara Brown Taylor



How often books come when they need to...this book is about the embodiment of faith; it's what we do that matters, not what we believe (don't we really do what we really believe, not what we think we believe?). And Chop Wood, Carry Water. Love is food, hugs, and smiles at the wonder of the world; love is tears, comfort, sweat, and laughter.

View all my reviews >>

The Spirit Level

The Spirit Level: Why More Equal Societies Almost Always Do Better by Kate Pickett


My rating: 5 of 5 stars
The authors propose a welcome vision for the peaceful transformation of society. The first two thirds of the book is a marshaling of facts and figures that show, in their view as health researchers, that wide divisions of material wealth are bad for the rich as well as the poor. They tellingly do not point out (perhaps it's that British reserve) that such wide divisions in human society have generally resulted in bloody revolt (usually very bad for the rich). They vote for gentle revolution instead.

Simplified: greater inequality results in social tension, lack of trust (both interpersonal and towards society as a whole), lower lifespans and levels of wellness both physical and mental for the poor AND the rich, and the breakdown of society; greater equality leads to a firm social fabric, greater interpersonal and impersonal trust, less violence, better health and longevity for all. The societies at the "top" of the world have entered a phase where greater wealth is not providing a better life, or indeed, better opportunities, for all. In fact, such societies have higher rates of physical and mental illness, violence, crime, and suicide.

Capitalism is not democracy. Communism (as practiced by the state) didn't work. What shall we do? The authors acknowledge that the political will to change must come from the grassroots level, from the bottom up, as it were. (As most beneficial changes in societies have.) They also seem to realize that people are not moved to change by rational thought and the thoughtful presentation of facts and figures. They call on Martin Luther's vision of the arc of history leading toward the good, and ask all like-minded people to help further the vision by promoting equality in many different ways.

I am amazed and happy to say that they have a proposal for social change that doesn't rely on violence or plague. It involves rather than a simple (ha!) redistribution of wealth, that governments act proactively to provide incentives for a major shift in business (from corporation to cooperation)--where the ownership of businesses changes from that of anonymous shareholders to that of mutually responsible and accountable employees. They argue that unethical and morally reprehensible acts (carried out by tobacco and oil companies, for example) are easier for people when they are "only following orders" than when they are both making the decisions and carrying out the acts. Also that people are happier and more productive when they perceive that they have more control over their lives.

It's time for our world to move beyond the age of the individual and toward a society that mirrors our innate sense of fairness and goodwill.
Website: www.equalitytrust.org.uk

View all my reviews >>

Little Bee

Little Bee by Chris Cleave


My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Little Bee is wonderful.
I agree with the jacket copy in that the magic is not in what happens, but in how the story unfolds. How the story unfolds is in beautiful language, in beauty and horror and everyday meanness and the kindness of strangers. The lives of a Nigerian refugee/illegal immigrant and a middle-class British magazine editor intersect. The book could be about the plundering of natural resources, about the state of deportation centers in Britain, about adultery, about first world/third world relations. In the hands of a lesser writer, the book could be about these things.
But like all good novels (good stories), the book is about what it is to be human. I love Little Bee's voice, it reminds me of Richard Llewellyn's achievement in How Green Was My Valley, how translation becomes poetry in humor and tragedy alike.
Little Bee is wonderful.

View all my reviews >>

Dead Bird/Heaven

This dawnlight awakened
by the thunk
of a bird hitting the bedroom window

how often I too
break my neck
flying toward the reflected trees
of heaven

when all the while
the great wide warm welcome
waits around me

Forking Fantastic Book Review

Forking Fantastic is forking fantastic!
When a book says, "Put the party back in dinner party," I expect great and funny things, and the authors do not disappoint.

Perhaps the book is best read with a glass of wine to hand (and mouth). I read the book in smorgasbord format, delving in here, diving in there, pausing in slight consternation (over the lamb, I don't do lamb--but hey, I might try it for a party. One could certainly use two meats at a big enough party!). I read the Intro, then jumped in; only now as I write this review did I discover the first chapter, "Pep Talk," in which the secret powers of cooking for others are revealed: Sex! Art! Power! But I am the cook in my household; I knew that.

Quotes: "Spatchcock: Another word we put in just because we like saying it." (It's Britspeak for butterflying.) "Raw chicken=napalm." From the recipe for Passion Fruit Curd: "Contrary to all cooking logic, more jam does not make it better--believe us, we've tried." "...give a few shakes, just to the point where you start getting embarrassed about the jiggling in your upper arms." Is this too many for reviews? "If only 'Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown' were just an awesome song by the Rolling Stones (re: entertaining.)" I have two favorites, one that is too long to retype but involves sausage gravy and a kindly farm wife--and: "... this is probably the secret of entertaining in a truly grand style: Jump in blindly. Julia would have approved. (Though be warned about the F-word, there's lots of it.)

The authors write both to cooking and entertaining novices and those with experience. They provide wine advice, definitions, and the lovely "learn from our mistakes" asides. There are lots of asides in this book, but I like that. There are also tips on "horde management" and kitchen equipment. I enjoy the relaxed style, as if one of your neighbors were there in your kitchen with you. The design of the book is great as well, allowing you to pay attention to the recipes only or to divert to other matters. Especially great is the fried chicken recipe, formatted for a few friends (1 chicken) or thirty (8 chickens) under the heading, ARE YOU INSANE?

My top recipes to try: Spanish Tortilla with Saffron (amazingly, this is not a flat substitute for bread, but a riff on a frittata!). Overnight Chuck Roast. Fish with pomegranate molasses (okay, the recipe's not in the book, but the suggestion is. I can wing it.). Baci di Ricotta.

Step by step recipes, step by step party set-up, this book revives my dreams of the international cooking club I started with my friends in middle school. Please, please please, Tamara & Zora, come over to my house & play! I, too, keep Jiffy Cornbread mix in my pantry. Behind the wine. And please bring Dapper Dan.

I have recommended the book to my local library system and friends, but I will not be loaning it to anyone. It's mine, all mine.
Disclosure: I won the book on goodreads.com. Yay!
Thanks!